Sometimes my blog posts are about fashion, sometimes they focus on beauty, and sometimes my posts are about my life. But today's post is about that part of life that just ain't pretty, no matter how you slice it...
Although I skip it more often than I should, I'm a fan of going to the gym. When I go to my gym at home, it's a huge de-stresser for me, especially during the law school year. Even though my fashion class was much less stressful than my law classes, I still needed to go to the gym to balance out all my restaurant-going and treat-indulging during my semi-vacation here in NYC. My hotel has a small gym, but with only a few machines and its easily-crowded 500 square feet, I decided I should opt to walk a few blocks and go to the same gym I use at home.
Initially, I was irked that I would have to pay the difference between a monthly membership at my gym at home and the "ultra" version here in NYC... After all, I have been a 4-year member of my gym at home and am now able to steal my annual memberships at the ridiculously cheap rate of $30 a year... But I got over it, paid the $40 difference for a month, and went to work out any left over frustration.
I was pleasantly surprised when I saw the clean conditions, modern design, and all the amenities in the locker room... Q-tips, dixie cups for samples of shampoo or body wash, spray deodorant, packaged hair combs?! I love when gyms make it easy for you to shower and get ready after a workout... And feel comfortable doing it. Throw in some freebies and I'm on board.
So I started my workout in a decent mood... Blasting some Rihanna... Taking an occasional glance at an extremely attractive man (there with his boyfriend, tragic I know)... And feeling like I could get used to working out there if/when I move to NYC.
I saw something dark brown, about the size of a small mouse, skittling across the floor. Excuse me if I'm wrong, but nothing is supposed to skittle at a gym. So naturally, Too Curious For Her Own Good stops lifting weights and goes to investigate... The skittler had stopped underneath a rack of weights, and I just NEEDED to know what it was.
Upon closer inspection, my stomach lurched... I felt the blood rush to my hands, feet, and face... In front of me was a HUGE cockroach!!! Dark brown, thick deviated shell, and quivering feelers extended.
If you follow my tweets, you are well aware that I HATE bugs and I am a dedicated supporter of my local Orkin man... He comes once a month, and I tell him to spray the place till it's dripping. The only things that should be LIVING in my house are humans and dogs. PERIOD.
So to see this monstrosity of an insect just INCHES from me caused an intense adrenaline rush... And then the following total-body quivering and convulsing that occurs upon sight of such a disgusting creature. I immediately went into panic mode...
"OHMIGOD, OHMIGOD, OHMIGOD... IT'S A BUGGGG!!!! A BUGGGG... RIGHT HERE!!! OHMIGODDDDD, IT'S HUGEEEE!!!!"
I was bent over, trying to control my urge to jump up and down and let out a shrill scream... (I managed to release only a couple hops and a squeal muffled by my hand)... Keep in mind there were several large, muscled men around... Who just sat there and stared at me like I was crazy or something!!!!
I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone... Why didn't anyone give a flying fox that this GINORMOUS cockroach was prowling around the gym?! Was I the only one disturbed by the thought of tiny cockroach eggs, nesting in the towel I would use to dab off my face and neck?! Was I the only one who had an adverse reaction to the thought of little skittling feet approaching my mat as I did abs?!?! I was in total shock as I looked around at the men, all at least 6 foot and 180 lbs of bravery...
I looked back at the cockroach... Who was just sitting under the weight rack and RELAXING. Yes, I swear... He knew that nobody would step on him or squish him!! I know I didn't want to... Stepping on a bug that large would make a horrible crunching sound... And it would make a mess. I am not kidding... It would require at least a couple paper towels.
I tried to go on with my workout, concentrating on exercises that held as many limbs as possible mid-air... But I couldn't!!! My eyes constantly scanned the floor for the cockroach's friends and family. I couldn't hide the occasional shudder every time I thought about that thick body, thicker and longer than the pink erasers we used in elementary school. Trying to work out downstairs was useless and I was embarrassed that I had freaked out that badly, so I hung my head in shame and went upstairs to the cardio floor.
Suddenly, I thought of a good idea... A way to be helpful and make this unfortunate situation a little more positive. I would tell the girl at the front desk about the cockroach!! She needed to know, right?! I mean, gyms pride themselves on cleanliness and the general lack of pests and rodents... The last thing they would want is a cockroach problem!!
Yeahhh... Not so much.
Me: Excuse me... I was just downstairs and I thought I should let you know I saw a cockroach down there near the classroom.
Employee: Blink... Blink...
Me: (Getting a little defensive... What's WITH these people?!) Well, it was HUGE... And... And my dad has always told me that where there's one, there's more!! So... If this gym has one of them, they are crawling all over the place and you could have a big... BUG PROBLEM!!!
Employee: It's New York...
At this point, I was at a loss for words... Didn't anyone in this entire city care that monster-bugs the size of MICE were running rampant?! Did that "Grade A Sanitation Inspection" sign on the door include cockroach infestations too?!?! Once I realized my mouth was open as I mulled all this over, I consciously shut it and started walking away... I would write a letter... I would Yelp the crap out of that place... I would -
Employee: You're not from here, are you? (I kind of glared at her... Sorry gym employee.) I'm not either - I just moved here from Seattle... And I'm not used to the cockroaches yet. They get in my apartment if I leave food out. (I tried to tame down my glare a little... I felt a little sympathetic.) And yesterday... I saw my first SUPER RAT on the subway!!
As she opened up and forgot that I was an alien who was weirded out by monster-roaches, we chatted about NYC and life here and if she missed home and all the differences between NYC and... well, everywhere else in the world. She never admitted that a cockroach in a gym was gross or promised she would go down and kill it with something... But at least she acknowledged that she, too, had difficulty getting used to NYC's pests.
I realized there could be a happy medium... I should learn to be a little more comfortable with the idea of insects... And the girl who worked at the gym could do her part to make the gym members feel like she was listening to their concerns. If I'm going to live in New York, I guess I've gotta get used to it... There will be big bugs!!
As Hopper said in A Bug's Life... "It's a bug-eat-bug world out there, princess." :)
Hope you all haven't had any scary bug-run-in's lately!!!
Weights Photo: weheartit.com
A Bug's Life Photo: LINK (via Google Images)